HERE WE ARE AGAIN
It seems as if, just when you think you are headed for a little “smooth sailing,” you are hit broadside and nearly taken off course. The two waves that seem to have the greatest effect are either the result of personal failure, or the betrayal of a friend. That’s what happens when you are dealing with PEOPLE! But the real issue is neither the failure nor the betrayal, but how one responds to the PEOPLE!
Being faced with this again lately, as in many times in the past, I have a couple of choices: Retaliation, Indifference, or Forgiveness and Love.
RETALIATION
Retaliation is so tempting, it’s nearly irresistible. Even in God’s Word, it is justified in the Old Testament – an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and we even see the example of sacrifice to atone for one’s sin. But at the same time, in cases of accidental death, for example, God also provided Sanctuary Cities for those who were being sought after for vengeance at the hands of a family member. On the grounds of, “an eye for an eye…” I am justified, or at least in my own mind I could find ways to implement a certain amount of vengeance without guilt! “An eye for an eye” sounds like a titillating “cat-fight” worthy of Hollywood’s best! Movies like, “Mean Girls” and many of the reality shows of today, capitalize on our primitive, natural desire for vengeance. “Tit for tat” my Gramma used to say. “What goes around comes around!” And, why not? They may have hurt me, so maybe if I hurt them, at least they will know how it feels?! It sure would make ME feel better! But – is there an alternative? After all, if I go after them, it’s not going to end there…. Not a pretty picture….
INDIFFERENCE
Indifference in actuality is not really indifference at all. In reality it is harbored unforgiveness, and a passive aggressive means of retaliation. “I’ll show them who is in control!” “Why would I want to still be friends with, or reach out to, or consider one who has betrayed me?” It is not dealing with the issue at all, but rather, simply not blatantly acting out in violence, but disguising your unforgiveness as calmness, reserve, self-control. I can be pretty proud of myself when I respond in this manner. But it is just that – pride.
FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness? That makes no sense. Why would I let my guard down just to be hurt again? Let them “get away with murder?” (now I know where that expression came from!) Can’t do it. Won’t do it. It goes against everything natural in me. End of story.
to be continued……