NOT END OF STORY
God, in His gentle persuasion never lets me stop there, at least not for long. Why? How? Because of the Cross. This is the Cross that He took on willingly for me, while I was yet a sinner. Am I willing to die for those who betrayed me? Probably not. Then, I am no better than them. Why is forgiveness the better choice – for me & for you, not just them? Let’s explore that a bit?
RESULTS AND CONSEQUENCES
Yesterday we were presented with a couple of options in response to a friend’s betrayal: Retaliation, indifference, forgiveness, and love.
RETALIATION
What would be the result of retaliation? Whether physical, verbal, written or otherwise, it only results in heightened emotions and circumstance, a damaged reputation (theirs AND yours), and does not deal with the original problem at all. Consequences would not change for the better, and if anything, only serves to escalate the situation.
INDIFFERENCE
We also saw that indifference is merely retaliation disguised, masquerading as forgiveness. The result of indifference would be a hardened heart, and possibly a root of bitterness, which grows into an ugly, life-zapping parasite, a poison that affects the whole body. (That’s a whole other topic for another day!). The more this is practiced, the more pride takes hold, and distrust and mistrust begin to reign, until you become as the one you were offended by. Before long, as that root of bitterness begins to sprout, you become the betrayer.
FORGIVENESS
Which leaves us with forgiveness. I think part of our problem with forgiveness is our very definition of the term. What it is not? – Condoning or excusing their actions, even if you can come up with a good reason for them to have done what they did. Wrong is still wrong. It is not – “letting them get away with murder.” There will be consequences to their actions – from the Righteous Judge; it doesn’t have to come from you. It is not – ‘forgive and forget’ – God does not want us to be stupid. If you are in an abusive or unhealthy relationship with someone, just because you forgive them, does not mean you have to put yourself in the same situation to be abused again. One definition of insanity is to repeat the same action expecting different results. It is not – expecting them to change.
Forgiveness changes us, not the betrayer. Forgiveness is unconditional. Let me say that again? Forgiveness is UN-conditional. No strings attached. It is for you, not for them. It releases you from the pain, from the bitterness, from the fear, from the regret, from all that the situation may have stirred up within you, and frees you to be open to trust and love again. It may not change the current circumstance, but it can help keep you from making it worse, and to avoid that circumstance in the future.
REMEMBER
Live, Love, Laugh, and Learn. When you choose to forgive, you choose to live a life of love, and the situation can become laughable. Forgiveness becomes your superpower! You can learn to deal with anything, and laugh in the face of danger. Ha Ha!!! If it’s worth laughing about later, it’s worth laughing about now. How much did they hurt you, really? Is it worth agonizing over, and stopping your life for?
IF IT WERE YOU
What if the betrayer was yourself? What if that wave that took you off course was your own failure? You did something you either knew you shouldn’t have, or looking back was a really bad or self-destructive choice you made, or you didn’t do something you should have? The same principles apply. FORGIVE YOURSELF. Ask God to forgive you, as He already died and paid for that sin, let Him take it. Move on. Rejoice in the One who loves you more than you could ever imagine. Laugh! Laugh at the fact that we tend to think our problems are too big for the God of the Universe to handle. Absurd.
HOW?
Just a note of warning – if you choose to do this in your own strength, you may fail. There is no pride allowed in forgiveness. God gives His Holy Spirit of Power to help His children to forgive as He forgives, so it is by His Power, in His Strength, and for His Glory – not yours. Pray! He WILL answer you.
If you do not know the God who chose to die for you, or want to know more about this forgiveness, leave a comment, and let’s talk!
AS FOR YOU
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
(Romans 12:18 – New King James Bible)
For he who would love life and see good days, let him
refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let
him see peace and pursue it. For the
eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.
(1Peter 3:10-12 – New King James Bible)